Dating sites require input, participation, and engagement. Remember, you are fostering what will be a long-term relationship, not a quick fling. People that have shorter attention spans should best stick to larger dating sites with larger membership bases in order to have a larger stream of potential matches in a shorter period of time.

• Long Term Relationship Length
• Long Term Relationships
• Best Dating Websites For Long-term Relationships
• Long Term Dating Apps
• Best Dating Websites For Long Term Relationships
• What Is The Best Dating App For Long Term Relationships

I am new to online dating. I’m interested in a long-term relationship, not casual dating or hookups. Based on your experiences, what are some of the best sites for those who are more serious? Why? Any pros and cons?

27 Answers

I don’t know much about the differences from one site to another, but I do know that my sister met her fiance on match.com.

• Jill Crosby is the owner/founder of the Conscious Dating Network, the largest network of exclusively conscious/spiritual/green dating sites on the Internet, featuring her flagship site, www.SpiritualSingles.com launched in 2000 and www.GreenSingles.com inherited in 2014. There are several dating sites that all share the same, large database of members in the spiritual/green niche.
• Dating sites require input, participation, and engagement. Remember, you are fostering what will be a long-term relationship, not a quick fling. People that have shorter attention spans should best stick to larger dating sites with larger membership bases in order to have a larger stream of potential matches in a shorter period of time.
• Match.com has come a long way since it launched in April 1995. This well-reputed dating site has honed its match algorithm to identify long-term compatibility and facilitate countless first dates, serious relationships, and successful marriages. Match.com's esteemed dating experts go to great lengths to guide singles to a seriously good match.

I don’t know I haven’t had luck on any of them, I seem to attract all the men that want to just sleep with me so I don’t tend to date very much anymore. I have tried speeddate.com, match.com, eharmony, and Ok Cupid.

Retro, I know, but I still think the best introduction is a shared interest, such as something you both volunteer for. Working with someone while building theatrical sets, folding newsletters, or chopping carrots is a great, low-stress way to get acquainted and learn what sort of person they are before social pressures distort behavior and perceptions.

@jeruba: I hear you, but practically everyone I meet is married or in a relationship. And the guys who ask me out, aren’t guys I’m interested in. It’s been very frustrating the last few months. I was hoping that going online would improve my odds. What has worked best for you?

I wouldn’t date online. I would go to various places online where you can interact with people and get to know them without dating. Places where you can have decent conversations and where people show who they are by what they talk about and what their opinions are and what they say and how they say it.

In this way, you will get to know people and you’ll be able to have an opportunity to get to know some people more deeply, if you want. I know there is a lot of this kind of romantic activity going on at a lot of different websites. I think you are more likely to meet the right people when people aren’t overtly looking to hook up with someone.

@Gemma_rose, I’d been married for quite a long time before the Internet came along, so I’m not the one to ask. I did meet my husband through our volunteer service to the same organization.

My sons have done well meeting people in school. at various interest-related and hobby-related events, and in the workplace (I’d be very cautious about dating a co-worker, though), but really nothing seems to have brought about better matches than being introduced by a friend.

@creative1: Sorry to hear:( Of those four sites though, which one gave you the most long-term dates? If those sites didn’t work, what are you now trying? I’m open to other ideas for finding someone longer term, although at this point I feel as if I need to at least try it.

Any forum that is not devoted to dating will probably get you better results.

eHarmony or match both supposedly are more selective with membership.

I know of two marriages through meeting via online dating sites.

My friends and I have had a lot of good luck with OkCupid.

I woulda thought that eHarmony would have been the best bet since they charge a lot of money, have a intensive interview process and their branding is defined on finding potential marriage partners. I tried match about 8 years ago, and it was meh, but this was also before the dating site boom so maybe it may or may not be better now.

PlentyofFish looks and feels kinda trashy, it’s not well designed and the community is kinda lowest common denominator looking from a female perspective. I’ve seen messages that my female friends have gotten from guys, one thinking that simply because he has a 13” dick makes him totally worth a date. (And his “proof” was a pic lifted off a porn site).

I’ve had my best success and met my current girlfriend on OkCupid. Their matching system isn’t perfect, but they have a large pool of users to draw from, and many of them are quite literate, the ones that aren’t high quality are easy to spot. There’s still a fair bit of people looking for action, but OkCupid’s system does account for those looking for casual sex only, and filters out (or in) those kind of people in your search results if you tell OKC that’s your goal. It’s very much free, and the only benefits to their paid model is that you get your face as a priority listing in results and you can post more, and dirty pictures (free users can only upload 5–6 pics and must be non-adult)

Whatever system you use, it does require patience. The common expectation on using one of these sites to try to widen your net is it will get you great results fast, and that is not the case at all. Sometimes some people luck out, others will spend some time. I spent nearly two years on OKC before I found my current s/o, and had to endure a lot of dead ends, bad dates, good dates that never called back, crazy women, and people who honestly had no clue what they were doing to get there. Try not to focus on the endgame, it will drive you insane and depress you cause you have no idea how long/short it will be before you find your place. Just enjoy your time (however short) with the people you do meet and it won’t feel wasted.

Well even as a very introverted guy I still prefer meeting women in an enviroment that makes conversing with one another easy such as the workplace, school, hobbies, mutual interests, etc. Online dating is difficult, especially for a guy since most initial contacts are still expected to be done by the guy, and as a guy you’re virtually competing with a whole horde of men desperate to get a date. If you decide to use online dating I would suggest eharmony for men and women, but especially for men since both sexes have to work equally as hard on there to meet somebody. I’ve only ever tried three dating sites and I had my best results with eharmony, though I never met what I was looking for at least I’d seen some potential on there.

OKCUPID is the only one I’ve tried. If you are honest about what you’re looking for, the site has a way of magically putting people together. Call it an algorithm, or call it technological mysticism and talmud! I swear it. My last two, very meaningful and long-term GFs have been from OKC.

Long Term Relationship Length

I met my husband on OKCupid. I met TONS of people on match.com, but they were all a bit creepy. I have no idea why OKCupid was better. I only met ONE guy, but I married him.

@janbb : It’s fully free to use. They do have a premium account option that will allow you to put your face first before other people’s searches, have more pictures on your account, and allow you to post adult rated photos if you so choose to.

OKC matches people through a system of random survey type questions spanning a huge range of topics which are user generated in nature so some can get pretty interesting. As you answer those random questions, the system starts to gleam from your responses about your personality. Are you politically left or right, are you shy or introveted, are you romantic, are you artistic or scientific, are you aggressive or passive, are you vanilla or chocolate in bed, do you appeal to independence or authority, etc. And the match page will show you your relative scores to the scores of those people indiciating how much/less X they are than you.

At the top you will get three match ratings: One to show how much of a romantic match you are, one for friendship levels, and one from enemy levels. So at a glance you can tell if someone who is very much politically/morally opposite of you, you’ll find out in the enemy rating really quickly.

Anyone know if OKCupid skews more to a younger age range?

@janbb i think it does. how you checked out howaboutwe?

@JonnyCeltics Actually, there are a number in my age range on okCupid.

@janbb perhaps you’re right, i remember when i was on it years ago it ‘felt’ like a younger demographic, or maybe its the colors of the site, but yes, i imagine people of all ages are on there. what do you think of online dating in general?

@JonnyCeltics So far just getting my feet wet and spending more time right now focusing on real life. For now it mainly seems like the guys I’ve messaged have not returned my interest and the guys who have messaged me have not appealed to me at all but there is one guy that I am doing a slow literary dance with. I am trying to not be over-addicted to the Internet right now so I am being very casual about it. But I think it might hold some promise in the future.

@janbb, I don’t know if you’re still interested, but I saw a commercial for a dating site specifically for singles over 50 and I thought of you. It’s called ourtime.com.

@Mariah Thank you very much. At the moment, I have tons going on with real friends and am not very invested in dating, but I will definitely keep that in mind.

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Long Term Relationships

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

— Best Dating Sites to Find Long Term Relationships —

— More Dating Sites —

Back in the mid-1990s — when the internet was just about to explode onto the world scene and into our lives — the scale of reach and the level of importance that online dating sites have today would have had been unimaginable. Yet, from that same time period onward, dating sites have experienced exponential growth. In 2007, 20 million people in the U.S. had tried online dating sites. Today, in 2017, that number is 50 million. In 1996, the year the online dating industry considers its birth year — there were only 15 online dating sites. In 2017, that number is 2,500 in the U.S. — over 8,000 if you take into account dating sites from around the globe. The online dating industry estimates that there will be 1,000 new dating sites in the U.S. each year.

Such numbers should not be a surprise. After all, online dating sites are simply the continuation and evolution of innovative ways to meet potential partners. As far back as the mid 18th century, you can find historical evidence for the first “singles ads” in American Colonial newspapers. The 1940s and 50s brought statistics-based matchmaking to the world. This resulted in hundreds of matchmaking agencies opening across the U.S. The 1980s brought you video dating. Who knows how many of our readers might be the result of a video date match from their parents’ generation.

As such, younger singles today view dating sites as the norm — part of the singles paradigm. Older singles, or those returning to the dating scene after a divorce, should take heed and follow their lead. Dating sites are here to stay until they evolve into whatever the future of matchmaking holds in store.

— Are Dating Sites Replacing Traditional Matchmaking? —

The notion of what is termed as “traditional” matchmaking has always been dynamic. There are idealized stereotypes of what it was, but if you look in depth at each decade of the last 150 years, each one had its own dating norms. Instead of asking yourself if online dating sites are changing the way we meet people, you should just take it as a given and focus on how it can help you find your better half.

— Am I the Right Type for Online Dating Sites? —

The first thing that you must understand about dating sites is that it is incumbent for their success that they be inclusive. This inclusivity can come in the form of a “catch-all” approach used by larger sites — or it can come through the proliferation of niche dating sites targeting specific demographics. That is why you come across dating sites structured toward seniors, divorced individuals, specific ethnicities and for the LGBT community.

Best Dating Websites For Long-term Relationships

Young or old, shy or outgoing, dating sites are here to bring people together of all types — everybody is the right type for a dating site. It is just a matter of selecting one that you will be comfortable with and that yields the results that you want.

— With so Many Choices, How Do I Know Which Dating Site is Right for Me? —

As we mentioned above, there are as many as 8,000 dating sites online — with new ones appearing every day. Yes, it can be daunting to go through each one and effectively compare their features and performance. This is why we conduct in-depth reviews of the most compelling dating sites. If a site has gained recent popularity, we determine if it’s all based on empty hype or solid performance. If a legacy dating site makes a major change, we look into whether it improved or soured the user experience. We also cast a wide net to identify and review new sites that may still be in the start-up stage. This can help our readers spot the next great thing in online dating and avoid the losers.

Long Term Dating Apps

By using our reviews as a reference source, you can start to get an idea of which dating sites would serve your personality type best. Then, it is a matter of actually getting your feet wet and registering for a few dating sites. Most offer free truncated versions or free trial memberships. The point is that you can look before you buy. Even when you decide to make the jump over to paid dating sites, nearly all offer one-month memberships — so you are never trapped to any commitment or cost obligations lasting longer than 30 days.

— What Results Can I Expect on Dating Sites? —

We conduct our reviews in order to help people like yourself find the dating sites that best suit them in terms of personality, lifestyle, budget and level of participatory zeal. You may ask yourself, “what the hell are they talking about, participatory zeal?” The answer is simple — it refers to your propensity to remain engaged with the site you join. Some people use dating sites methodically — they join and then everyday tweak their profile, respond to messages as well as sending some out on their own. These are the slow grinders. These types of people should easily expect to get results on dating sites. They are patient, so they won’t jump on the first person to suggest a meetup. Maybe they will go out with several prospects over the course of a year before they find the right person for a long-term relationship. They would never be frustrated through the process though, for they are naturally patient and methodical.

Best Dating Websites For Long Term Relationships

Others show great enthusiasm and then, after a few weeks, stop monitoring or updating their online profiles. These people often make the mistake of thinking that dating sites work the same way as hookup sites. While part of the same industry, they are two vastly different constructs. Dating sites require input, participation, and engagement. Remember, you are fostering what will be a long-term relationship, not a quick fling. People that have shorter attention spans should best stick to larger dating sites with larger membership bases in order to have a larger stream of potential matches in a shorter period of time.

What Is The Best Dating App For Long Term Relationships

Bottom line, any dating site will require some degree of input from you. The more time and care you put into it, the better the results that you are going to get. Keep in mind that online dating is nothing more than an extension of normal matchmaking. Just as you could meet the love of your life by crashing shopping carts in the produce section of your supermarket, so too can you meet your soulmate by checking your dating site messages on a Thursday night in your pajamas.

— Conclusion —

We could easily have had cited more figures than we did to demonstrate the important role that dating sites have in modern romance. As impressive as those figures are (downright arousing for statisticians, we suppose), they should not overshadow the very simple fact that dating sites can help you meet more people that are compatible to you than any other system yet devised. If you are tired of being alone, of being left out when your friends have couples parties, then you should try a dating site — just like 50 million other Americans already have.